A couple of days ago, at the office, I noticed one of the staff members pretty upset about something. I had a few minutes to talk so I asked her what was going on. She went on to explain the situation to me. As she tells me the story of what had happened to her, I could not help but to think, does she realize how small this problem is in the big picture. She was visibly upset about this. If I could see it, can you imagine what was going on with her hormone levels? I asked her how this situation made her feel. So she explained how upset and mad she was about this. I than asked her a question she really was not expecting. Who is in control of your happiness? She really did not have an answer for me.
I went on to explain to her that we are each in control of our own happiness. Happiness must come from the inside. We can not rely on others to make us happy. Why would anybody give someone else that power over them? I than asked her why would you give that other person so much power over you? Are you really willing to let somebody else’s opinion or lack of knowledge ruin the rest of your day? And affect your health? She began to realize that she had let another person disturb her inner peace and happiness. She began to notice how changing her mindset about what had just happened began to change how she felt about what had happened.
How many people out there find themselves in this same situation daily, probably even many times a day? Here is another example of how much power we give to others and the amount of energy we spend dwelling on the actions of others. Have you ever been on your way to work in the morning and someone begins to change lanes into your lane or flat-out cuts you off? What is your response? I have seen people totally loose it. Some will speed up to get back in front of them to get even with them. Others will begin to swear and make hand gestures. I have even seen people get out of the car and want to fight about it. And we have all heard about some extreme cases of road rage. By the time these folks get to work they are so mad. They can’t believe what somebody did to them. Usually, now they have to tell their coworkers and anybody else who will listen. The amount of energy that has been wasted is amazing. Having your flight or flight system that ramped up in the morning will mess up hormones levels for hours. That system was created over hundreds of thousands of years ago in case a lion was chasing one of your ancestors not for you to fly off the edge because someone didn’t see you in that lane. How much power are we giving the people around us?
Lets look at this in a different way. Someone cuts you off in traffic. Did they know it was you and they are specifically doing it to you? Probably not. Unless you did it to them first. So lets not take it personal. Now that you know this is not a personal assault on your freedoms, you can ask yourself If you have ever cut someone else off by mistake. Be honest, you probably have. How did you feel? I know I have, and I always feel awful about it. I will do my best to apologize even when they are saying Hi to me with only one finger. So how about just letting them go on with their day and you go on with yours. This simple adjustment will change your entire day. Are you starting to see what changing your mindset can do for you? If you are still having trouble with the fact that this idiot in front of you just cut you off, remember they did not pick you out and think to themselves, I am going to cut off John, or whatever your name may be. Then realize you have no idea what that person’s current situation is. They may be racing to a hospital, they may have a sick child at home or at school that needs to get picked up, or they were doing a favor for some one else and now they are running late.
These are just 2 examples of how we give control of our happiness and energy to others who do not deserve to have that power over us. So today as you are going through your day, be mindful of this and you will see how much better your day goes and how much more energy you have left at the end of the day.
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Peace Out.